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Frankie boyle


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i always watch him, sometimes he goes way way to far....

jokes about disabled kids and cancer are stretching the boundaries a bit too far for me.....but he is what he is and you can always not watch him....id hate to be sat on the front row at one of his gigs....youd be just waiting for a torrent of abuse i reckon...

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Jordan and Peter Andre are still fighting each other over custody of Harvey - eventually one of them will lose and have to keep him.

I have a theory about the reason Jordan married a cage fighter - she needed a man strong enough to stop Harvey from f**king her...

---Top Frankie Boyle Jokes ---

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

I want to recriminalise homosexuality, so i can feel dirty when i do it

I would have loved to have a gay dad. Do you remember at school, there were always kids saying "My dad's bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!" "So what? My dad will shag your dad. And your dad will enjoy it."

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!

Having a gang-bang in Scotland in the winter is like playing Pass The Parcel: there's that many layers!

The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.

Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!

Does anyone think that Camilla is what Princess Diana would look like if she survived the crash.

I thought it was sad that they had that concert for Princess Diana I mean she didnt have much to do with pop music , they should have have done something that celebrated what was really great about her life ... by staging a gang bang in a minefield.

When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass. I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.

That Ellen MacArthur, how many times is she going to sail around the world before she realises that she's a lesbian?

What's the difference between Didier Drogba and Venus Williams? Venus has a slightly smaller penis.

Scientists say the worlds population will double by 2020. However they have also said that if we hunt down Kerry Katona this can stop.

I was reading the financial times when i saw the headline FANNY MAE COLLAPSE. For a moment i thought Kerry Katona was pregnant again.

RyanAir have been getting a hard time lately because of there £7 flight to New York. But as always with RyanAir it does always land a little bit outside of New York. In Dublin.

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

Anyone whos been to Middlesbrough will know that living to 53 is maybe a bit long. Sort of like Blade Runner without the special effects.

Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

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